Keto/Low-Carb/Paleo/Vegan friendly dessert!

Oh man... okay, so fresh on the heels of reading about a ketogenic diet and my penchant for paleo high-fat foods, I came across this recipe for a chocolate mousse. I needed some calories, as eating high-fat will seriously satiate you for hours with minimal cals. I'm trying to gain muscle so I can't be in a deficit calorie-wise - I also can't eat total crap either. So, I grabbed a can of coconut cream and refrigerated it overnight. I figured why not try to tackle my sweets-craving while I'm at it (did you know when you crave sweets and such you are usually deficit in some kind of nutrient? I'll attach a chart I found about it - it helps!) so I grabbed some baking cocoa for it's lovely magnesium content. I blended it all together with some cinnamon and topped it off with berries - crucial, as the cocoa makes this kind of bitter, but I tried to stick with more blackberries than anything as they're the lowest sugar-wise.

100% keto, 100% paleo, 100% vegan, 100% fulfilling

© cavewomanmom

Dairy-free Chocolate Mousse

• 1can coconut cream (I found mine at Trader Joe's) or you can use coconut milk; refrigerated (important: refrigerate overnight if using coconut milk so it really solidifies)
• 3 tbsp raw baking cocoa
• 1/2 tsp cinnamon
• frozen berries, to top

© cavewomanmom

1. Transfer the cream, sans water, to a mixing bowl.
2. Blender in your 100% raw cocoa and cinnamon; we used a hand mixer.
3. Top with frozen berries of your choice!
4. Enjoy!

© cavewomanmom

Oh, oh, oh! Coming soon...

I have so many pictures on my iPhone for recipes I'm going to share soon...

... stay tuned!

Chipotle on the cheap - yum!

Oh man, if my friends know anything about me, it's that I'm obsessed with Chipotle bowls and making them at home because - honestly, who can afford a 7-8$ burrito on the daily?

This is one of my favorite things to eat after the gym because it has everything I need (imo) for post-workout fuel. Some days you feel like a protein shake, but when you don't, this is my go-to. It's quick, can be prepped for the entire week in like 15mins and is just AMAZING.

I haven't tried this with steak (yet) but the following is what I throw in my bowls and a new way to have a burrito (that I tried this morning with the utmost success!) that is paleo approved and insanely low-carb.

First for the chicken - which needs some time to marinate so prep this before!

© cavewomanmom

Homemade Chipotle-seasoned chicken

• 1lb chicken breasts, or four pieces
• 1tbsp olive oil (or coconut oil if you prefer)
• 2 tsp chili powder
• 1 tsp garlic powder
• 1 tsp onion powder
• 1 tsp ground cumin
• 1/2 tsp oregano
• 1/2 tsp black pepper

1. Toss the chicken in the oil of your choice (unless you are choosing a vegetable or canola oil - don't do that). I toss the chicken in a gallon plastic bag so that I can seal it off and toss is all together, quickly and evenly.
2. Add spices, toss until evenly coated and let marinate for at least 2hours but the longer the better, up to a day.
3. Cook on medium-high heat, slicing into cubes either during (to speed up the process) or after - whatever!
4. Add to your bowl/burrito and eat!

Next for the ingredients... I usually add avocado (fat), organic whole-fat sour cream & mexican cheese blend (some not-so-awful carbs & protein), the chicken (protein), romaine lettuce, beans (I usually mix black and pinto), rice (which I'm on the verge of changing to Cauliflower rice to lower my carb intake), Chipotle hot sauce (YUM) and I toss it all together to get this beauty:

© cavewomanmom

If burritos are more your thing try this - you'll need one organic collard green leaf per burrito:

1. After washing, cut along the stem and remove it. You can either keep the top of the leaf whole or cut it completely into two pieces.
2. Steam the leaf (not boil, nerds) for 20-30 seconds but no longer or it'll be a soggy, sad leaf.
3. If your leaf is still in one piece, cut the top so that you have two halves. Slightly overlap the two pieces length-wise.
4. Load up your stuffings - making sure to get a nice bit of avocado inside ;) - and roll it up while tucking in the sides as you go.

It may be a little tricky, as I know mine was overflowing. Try to put your fillings more towards the center so you can tuck the sides first, as you roll and make a fat ass burrito - just like Chipotle makes theirs almost impossible to roll.

You won't even be able to taste the collards, I promise!

© cavewomanmom

Viola!

Lemme know if you've tried it and if you have any ideas as to what steak I should try so I can finally get around to trying out a cheap-o version of their steak burrito/bowl!

Almost a year, really?!

Gosh! I cannot even begin to believe how long it has been since I last updated this blog!

Things in my life have been crazy - THREE moves - and raising a toddler but I AM BACK.

Here is how things have changed aside from my location:

• I'm more into the gym now than ever - I seriously go almost every day, and train split-body, so that I can! My kiddo gets to enjoy social time with the other kids at the preschool there while I lift heavy and turn heads when I walk by with him on my hip.
• I'm not paleo - it was too hard to do on top of gluten-free/organic but I try my best and being gluten-free helps a lot with keeping close to the paleo principles.
• I'm lifting heavy and laughing at the lines of treadmills. I don't go to a Cross-Fit box but I DO lift as heavily as I can without a spotter (I'm squat pressing almost double my weight) and doing as little cardio as possible unless it means trail bike rides outside with my son.

Here is how things haven't changed:

• My goal is still to look like Emily Schromm and I love following her on social media to get ideas for workouts and meals (and to drool over her body!)
• I'm still a mom of a toddler - one that is a picky eater at times - so this blog will deal with that too.

I don't know if anyone still reads this but I'M BACK!

SCORE! - Almond butter cookies

I swear - I don't know how I haven't turned into a coconut. Ever heard that saying, when you were a kid and only ate chicken tenders or peanut butter and banana sandwiches? "One day you're going to turn into a chicken!" hah! But really - I add coconut flakes into smoothies, the coconut flour in paleo pancakes or cookies (below!), coconut oil I cook with and add to my bulletproof coffee and the coconut milk that I use for everything - including coffee now - YUM!

Sweets are an intense craving and something that, in my household, usually gets answered with cookies. Unlike brownies, I enjoy my cookies piping hot and will eat an entire package of Immaculate Baking Co. cookies within 2-3 days. Since finding out that I really DO have an issue with gluten - that it isn't just a health preference at this point, I had to part ways with them. They do have a gluten-free version which is equally delicious but until they resolve their use of canola oil (I'll do a post on that one day, ughhh loathe that shit), I can't partake!

After making delicious banana walnut paleo muffins, we tried an almond butter cookie recipe. Now, my husband doesn't enjoy peanut butter as he didn't grow up with PB&J (blasphemy, right??) and isn't a fan of almond butter either but throw a sweet craving his way and he will try just about any paleo-friendly dessert. (side note: my sweet cravings have been handled... sorta... with the return of candy corn - hey! don't you judge me!)

I got the recipe from here, who got it from another site. It's been tested, shared and is absolutely delicious! We usually make half the recipe and it yields 4-5 cookies.

©cavewomanmom

(Paleo-friendly) Almond Butter Cookies

• 1 cup almond butter
• 1/3 raw, local honey
• 1 cage-free egg
• 1.5 tsp baking soda
• 2 tbsp coconut flour
• 1/4 cup dark chocolate chips (or your choice of nut, dried fruit, etc.)

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees fahrenheit.
2. Mix almond butter, honey, egg and baking soda.
3. Mix in coconut flour.
4. Add your chocolate chips (or whichever "treat" you chose!)
5. Using parchment paper (these stick a bit), pour your cookies whatever size you'd like them.
6. Bake for 10 minutes or so, until golden brown.
7. Let cookies cool on sheet for 5-10 minutes, depending on your patience level ;) and enjoy!

These cookies tend to look dry as hell but I swear, they're fluffy and oh-so-fragile. They are also delicious the next day if stored air-tight. Let me know what you think!

It's hot as hell (but I wanted tomato soup!)

The worst part about Texas is the weather - and the women who insist on driving huge ass trucks even though they couldn't drive a Smart car - but per usual, I digress...

It's September! I hear that fall is supposed to begin this month which means a few things:

• windows open, crisp fall air zipping through the house
• pumpkin candles. pumpkin wall defusers. pumpkin decorating. anything pumpkin, pumpkin, pumpkin and I'm IN
• apple pie baking
• soy chai tea lattes
• the itching desire to decorate the house for Halloween even though it isn't another month and a half away
• soup

I love soup. Broccoli cheddar, tomato basil, poblano chicken chowder... seriously, just a few of the kinds that get made in my house and eaten off of for a week. Especially that damn poblano chowder...

© cavewomanmom

Last week, we made roasted tomato basil because a) roasted tomatoes are like crack to me and b) we had SO many from the farmers market. [side note: this is one of my favorite things about farmers markets - not knowing what to expect, finding whatever is in freshest supply and figuring out your meals from there. So few go backwards - find the materials and then begin their craft - but that's the best, freshest, cheapest, environmetally friendly and healthiest way to eat and cook!]

© cavewomanmom

Roasted Tomato Basil Soup

• 3 pounds ripe plum tomatoes, cut in half
• 1/4 cup, plus 2 tbsp olive oil
• 1 tbsp salt
• 1.5 tsp ground black pepper
• 2 yellow onions, chopped
• 6 garlic cloves, minced
• 2 tbsp unsalted, grass-fed butter (like kerrygold!)
• 1/4 tsp cayenne pepper or crushed red pepper flakes
• 1 28-oz can of plum tomatoes, juice included
• 4 cups fresh basil leaves
• 1 tsp thyme, fresh or dried
• 1 quart chicken stock or water (for a vegetarian version)

1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees fahrenheit.
2. Toss the tomatoes, 1/4 cup olive oil, salt and pepper. Put onto a baking sheet and roast for 45 minutes.
3. In a large stockpot, on medium heat, sauté the onions and garlic with the remaining 2 tbsp of olive oil, butter and cayenne/red pepper flakes for 8-10 minutes, until the onions start to brown.
4. Add the canned tomatoes, basil, thyme and chicken stock.
5. Add the tomatoes from the oven, including any (delicious!) juices from the baking sheet.
6. Bring to a boil and then reduce heat to a simmer, simmering uncovered for 30 minutes.
7. Eat as is or put into a processor, Vitamix, blender, etc. to make less chunky, if desired. Enjoy!

We rarely have the basil needed so we generally mix fresh and dried and we always eat it "chunky" - the tomatoes fall apart on their own and it's just delicious.

Vitamin C is my favorite vitamin - it's the yummiest!

I have so many things I want to write about and no time! Wahh.

First - I want to go on a rant about orange juice. The boxed crap that so many buy because, clearly, they've never had fresh-squeezed, unpasteurized juice.

Those cartons you buy? The oranges are months old. Citrus is a pretty fragile fruit and in order to keep supply going year-round (what other veggie or fruit do you know is available year-round like oj?), its stock supplied in huge tanks. Tanks where all the oxygen is sucked out - which makes it almost impossible to rot (yay) but makes it lose all of its flavor (boo).

Flavorless orange liquid? Yuck! But don't fret - fragrance companies, the ones that make those phthalate and endocrine disruptors so many people freely and excitedly splash all over themselves (but I digress...), have made NEW flavors and smells to make your orange liquid fun again. Wee! Each company has their own copyrighted "scent" or flavor so don't scoff at your mother-in-law for her Florida's Natural brand loyalty - it probably DOES "taste better" than Walmart's... PLUS they have those neat commercials that show how it's almost like reaching into the grove and picking your own oranges. Duh!

© cavewomanmom

Let me skip to the deliciousness we make almost daily - although you CAN buy it in some stores, here in Texas we have HEB and Central Market that sell many varieties fresh-squeezed, unpasteurized juices - fresh OJ. You can hand-squeeze it on a citrus juicer, which are under 10$ at Target or you can throw whole, peeled oranges into your vitamix. I don't know how it would work in a regular blender seeing as how thick and pulpy it is in my vitamix - I prefer the citrus juicer. It's good for my forearms and a good grip workout haha but really, I prefer the sweetness of just the juice. I know, I know - I'm missing out on all of the fiber and getting all of the blood-spiking sugars but I'm also getting vitamins and steering clear of Coca-Cola. One day at a time, remember?

Try it out. See if you don't notice that the taste, smell and COLOR is different. OJ isn't that bland color you see at IHOP - it's much more vivid and vibrant. It's a color that is always welcome at my breakfast table. It's kind of like comparing real maple syrup and pancake syrup (aka corn syrup) - once you go towards the light and have the real deal, however more expensive or time-consuming it may be, you can't go back! Oh and I've found that Valencia oranges make for the best juice with the least amount of oranges. Navel were such a bust, no matter where I bought them or what their ripeness was!

© cavewomanmom

(Disclaimer: it is not recommended that those with weakened immune systems such as the elderly, or for instance, my 10-month-old son drink unpasteurized juices. Fresh juice, consumed within hours after squeezing is fine, but it isn't recommended to squeeze a large batch and give to grandma or your toddler throughout the week. Since the fruit hasn't been heated, killing off nutrients AND any bacteria sources, bacteria can grow over time. Wash your fruit well before juicing/squeezing and consume shortly after.)

-cwm

Are you ready for some... salsa?!

I know the weekend just began but in my house, every other week is a three-day weekend and I often get lost in the shuffle so I totally forgot it's Saturday not Sunday.

Alas, I made my favorite salsa recipe for the games that are now not until tomorrow and thought: "hey I should post this!" either for when I inevitably lose my handwritten one or for when my friend's ask again how I made it. I also got some amazing tomatoes from the local farmers market on Thursday and couldn't wait to use them!

So here you go - the consistency is a bit thinner (it reminds me a lot of Chilis' salsa which is my favorite thing to get when I go) than traditional salsa but YUM:

Cavewoman Mom's Game Day Salsa

• 1 can of tomatoes and green chiles (14.5 ounces)
• 3 or 4 (depending on size) tomatoes (or a 14.5 ounce can, plus its juice)
• 1 tablespoon fresh jalapeños (or canned, just don't use pickled)
• 1/4 cup yellow onion
• 1/2 teaspoon garlic salt
• 1/2 teaspoon cumin

1. Combine the jalapeños and onion in a food processor or blender (I used my Vitamix) and blend for a few seconds to get them into smaller pieces (certainly no need to dice beforehand!)
2. Add tomatoes, garlic salt and cumin and blend/process until the desired consistency is reached. I really like my salsa more like picante sauce so I let it go in my Vitamix on speed 3 before turning up to 10 for a few seconds.
3. Chill! I swear - it tastes even better after being in the fridge for a few hours!

The yield is A LOT - we usually half the recipe unless it's a big get-together - around 32oz or so! Enjoy :) comment with some of your favorite ways to eat salsa - especially if it's paleo friendly.

-cwm

Busy bee (but no, we aren't getting any)

Haha. Just when my friends think I've "flown the coop", I turn it up a notch.

My husband and I have decided that we are going to live on the outskirts of where ever we are moved to (by his company) next so that we can have... chickens!

It all started with my usual annoyance with the FDA and their slack regulations about what exactly "cage-free" and "free-range" mean. Basically, those cage-free eggs we have been shelling (LOL - so many puns, I'm sorry) out for could just mean the chickens are living the same shitty (pun!) life they would have even if they were caged. It means beak-clipping is still allowed, it means they can be sitting around in a dark barn on a concrete slab, "cage-free." Same with "free-range" - it could mean they HAVE access to a door that leads to the outside, too bad they don't know how to work a door.

Now, I did find a farm that promises 108-square-feet of outside space per bird, which seems pretty generous. Only after researching the company did I find out that they feed their animals soy. Now, I don't think soy is in their usual diet and we already get so much soy in every other area of our lives - must we really get it in our eggs, too? Over 90% of American soybeans are GMO - not something I want in my house, labeled or not.

A lot of people think chickens are dirty, loud animals. They're dirty when you have thousands of them or don't let them roam freely. Chickens will always return to their coop at night so the daily maintenance is really just opening the door to their coop, that protects them from nightly predators, and shutting it after dark. Oh and the collection of their eggs - yum! Noise wise, roosters are always loud but I'm not really looking for fertilized eggs anyhow so I'll stick with owning classy ladies... who do make some noise around egg-laying time. Forget a dinner bell - that sounds like a breakfast-is-ready bell!

I also think it would be a great way to show my son how to take care of the planet and our animals. I think it would be really neat for a kid, instead of having a dog to feed, walk and bathe, to have chickens he checks in on and (probably, I mean he is a boy) chases around.

Nothing would make me happier than to know I'm eating food that's truly sourced locally (feet from my door) and treated humanely (no slaughtering of them once they stop baring eggs - then they can just be our feathered friends!). This got my husband into the idea of getting honeybees but I shot that down quickly - anyone that knows me knows I can't handle anything that buzzes, not even a butterfly that goes zipping by. I immediately run away, flailing my arms, which usually results in me getting stung. I can't control it at all...

Before I go from my random chicken post, I wanted to post a smoothie I made in my Vitamix yesterday for a mid-morning snack. It was oh-so-refreshing and my son enjoyed it as well - you cannot get any fresher than making your own!

Fruit Salad Smoothie

• 1/2 cup grapes
• 1 orange, peeled
• 1/2-inch thick slide of pineapple, core included (if using a Vitamix or other high-power blender)
• 1/4 cup of cucumber, peeled
• 4 ounces of carrot, or one medium carrot
• 1/4 of an apple
• 2 cups of ice

Combine ingredients and blend! I was able to fill almost two 16-ounce bell jars with this recipe so expect about 22-24oz of smoothie and adjust accordingly.

I thought the cucumber was a bit overpowering so I will probably omit it completely next time but I know a lot of people find cucumber refreshing so I thought I'd leave it :)

Let me know what you think - or what kind of recipes you'd like to see!

The lesser asked HOW - since y'all know the why...

I am on cloud nine right now! I just got my Vitamix delivered and just stuffed the fridge full of kale, spinach and so many other veggies/fruits that I cannot wait to emulsify... BUT I digress.

I often get asked why in regards to my new paleo lifestyle but the how I stumbled upon this amazing new way of living is far more interesting and seems like "destiny." (Aw. Big softie!)

One blog, three words (and an ampersand): Bacon & Skinny Jeans.

The author (although she seldom writes now as she is busy kicking people's asses with Crossfit and running her site Superhero Unleashed) is Emily Schromm and she is what many call a "paleo goddess." Why?

• Her body is on point,
• Her exercise is intense,
• She fucking loves bacon and;
• She lives in Denver (I'm adding this since it's my dream location)

When she isn't busy shaping her life and changing others' (she's also a Certified Personal Trainer and competes regularly with Crossfit), she's shouting from the mountain tops of Colorado (or Thailand for those watching MTV's Challenge Rivals II where she's currently - you guessed it - kicking ass) about how to become "your own superhero." Pretty inspirational and motivational if you ask me - I want superpowers from bacon too, damn it!

Anyhow, I clearly am not in Denver (as seen by my sad face and sweat stains from just merely walking to and from my car IN THE GARAGE) so I've always followed her Twitter and Facebook closely to see what workouts I could snag and what foods I could try.

Things intensified as I saw she was beginning a 21-day "Superhero Blueprint Challenge" earlier this month. Her request? Go with her for three weeks on a (less-strict) Paleo and exercise journey. No grains, no alcohol, no sugar - no crap (peanuts she deemed were fine, same with full-fat dairy if it doesn't bother your gut). I saw it as an interesting challenge and a way to shake things up a bit - something to do to see if I'd notice a change and vainly get back into the ONE pair of jeans I hadn't gotten into since about 3-months pregnant. I got my husband and a friend on board and we set out on the journey...

And here we are! With four pounds down (five for my husband, 12 for my friend), an inch off my waist and hips - but none off my thighs lol go figure - I'm fitting into those jeans that have been folded on the top shelf of my closet and I'm able to wear tighter-fitting tees that before exposed my muffin top. But really the greatest part - aside from the look on people's faces when I put butter in my coffee or tell them "yes, I really DID saute my veggies in bacon grease" - is the community that's been building on her Facebook page.

People all over the world are doing this challenge and we are all getting to post recipes, exercises, snack ideas, and so many other neat things together. What kind of "diet" have you EVER been on that can create so much excitement? Don't believe me? Go look. Or check out the hashtag #21daysuperherochallenge on Twitter and Instagram where, over the last 18 days (wow) everyone (including me!) has been posting pictures of beautiful bacon strips, happy cagefree eggs, crispy kale chips and bulletproof coffee! It really IS so much fun.

Anyway - that is the HOW. You know the WHY. Now you need to get your ass up and DO.

And don't y'all worry - I'll make sure to post as soon as I join her next challenge!

Until then - do some Burpees with Em!